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Music Has Defined My Life [Apr. 22nd, 2009|07:55 am]
Come Freak Freely With Us


This is a looooong post so if you don't read it, that's cool but I would recommend scrolling down and checking out the videos for some kick ass music.

My life has been a good one so far. I have had some pretty amazing experiences as well as some shitty ones. My timeline has always been defined by music. I grew up with a bunch of crazy musicians that never went to bed before 2 or 3 in the morning and waking up early was before noon.

My sister is a blues musician. She has opened concerts for Charlie Musslewhite, B.B. King, Taj Mahal and the like. She was a huge influence on me both musically as well as my beliefs. She taught me to be open to new ideas, to love my body and be proud of it. She taught me to look beyond sex, race and age to see the soul within the body.

We were raised by our mom cause well..... our dad was a drunk... sorry dad r.i.p. He listened to Hank Williams Sr., Johnny Cash and Ernest Tubbs. He was cruel and wild and fascinating. My brothers were too. Despite the dysFUNtion, I always felt loved. I always felt important. I was born in 1962. My mom remembers I was just pulling myself up in the crib to stand the year JFK was shot.

A few years later, I remember seeing the civil unrest on T.V. and being confused. That was when I first began distrusting the police. Seeing them beat people and hose them was very confusing for me.

I was allowed to hit joints or drink wine sometimes if my brother Matt was in charge. He had 8 tracks of Cream, Canned Heat and Jethro Tull. My sister listened to Bob Dylan, Buffy St Marie and Judy Collins. My mom worked double shifts as a waitress to make ends meet so I was basically raised by teenagers. I have 2 brothers 15 and 12 years older than I and my sis is 10 years older. My oldest brother Mike was out of the house soon after I was born. He left my mom a note that he joined the carnival and from then on he was on his own. He never lived with us again. Matt was a charming ladies man. A joker and impersonator. He loved scaring the hell out of me with his Wolfman Jack voice or his rendition of Bill Cosby's "Chicken Heart". He would talk me into watching Hitchcock even though I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep that night. It thrilled me to be with him. He was the most exciting person I knew.

As I grew older, I wanted to be more like my friends. Their parents were similar to my mom but it was their dad's that worked. Their mom's were room mothers and brownie leaders. They taught 4-H and were home after school. My sister taght me how to pantomine in the mirror to The Supremes. I helped her make gum wrapper chains and pull top chains. We strung them around the bedroom we shared.

We hung out downtown on "The Wall" It was where all the "hippies" were:) I think I learned to flash a peace sign before I learned how to wave:) I was a little tag-along because they couldn't afford to hire a sitter.

I grew older and was a pretty normal kid. Went to slumber parties and cheer camp. I was taught at an early age that to be a "narc" was really bad so I didn't share my early life experiences too often. My oldest brother was absent for the most part, my brother Matt died in 1976. Like Bon Scott from ACDC, he was found dead in his car after a night of drinking, they thought he'd sober up and come on inside later. He never awoke. My sister got married, divorced then became a lesbian or maybe she always was. My mom had several "nervous breakdowns" they called it and went to the hospital for a few extended stays. She is still alive and living independently. She has put the past behind her and appears pretty happy.

I was pretty much on my own at about age 13 or 14. My mom took care of me of course. She was just working alot and didn't really put any restrictions on me. I married at 17, divorced with 2 babies at 22, married again at 25, divorced again at 31 adding another child to the mix. With 3 kids and little to no money, I was just surviving, like so many mothers have had to do.

Some how we made it. I married one last time and by god it stuck! I found a great man that willingly took on helping to raise my children and supporting me while I got my Master's degree. We have a beautiful life and healthy vibrant children who are all grown and out of the house. I am so grateful that this is now just a "story" As much fun as I had, I would never want my children or my grand children to have that kind of life.

My daughter told me recently, I always liked haveing an "alternative" mom. I was kinda surprised. I asked her what she meant by that. She said you know you listened to "Alanis Morrisette and Mellisa Ethridge. You wore ripped jeans and tie-dye. You were different. I guess I am still being defined by music in a way.

Here are some videos that remind me of my youth.

I love my family and am proud of where I came and of course I love Youtube!!!!!!!!!!

[User Picture]From: shambhalite
2009-04-22 08:29 pm (UTC)
I can totally relate to music defining my life. This is a beautiful story.
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[User Picture]From: slpmary
2009-05-27 01:34 pm (UTC)
thank you:)
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[User Picture]From: innocentvice
2009-06-26 04:01 am (UTC)
I love and adore Buffy.
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